Parenting a Pre-Teen and Its Relationship to A Hallmark Christmas Movie

Last Friday we attended Christmas Con, a "nationally holiday themed convention", but let's be honest, the convention is centered around made for TV Christmas movies. If you didn't already know, I'm an enormous fan of Hallmark Christmas movies. I love Christmas in July where Hallmark re-runs classics and introduces new ones for the current years lineup. And Countdown to Christmas takes place the week of Halloween and I am always ready with my Hallmark Movie Checklist app. My FNDLY app is full of all of my favorites so that I can watch them all year long. Side note, my writing partner and I have penned two scripts that we hope to see on the small screen in the near future. Being addicted to Christmas movies is truly a thing. 

But I'm here to talk about my current summer. Did you know that my son turned 12 in April? He did. And man, 12! It's everything you've heard about but didn't want to believe would happen to you. Snarky attitudes. Lack of engagement. Ultimately wanting zero of the fun that might be had if we did something entertaining this summer. Over the past week, he's been on summer break for all of two, I've suggested indoor mini golf and lunch at Craft Putt, a local joint in Overland Park, to which I got a, "If you want to." Well, I did, but not now. I threw out heading to the mall and checking out the new arcade that just opened this spring, King Arcade, to which I got, "I don't like being on a time crunch." The arcade opened at 1:00 and he didn't have a drum lesson until 3:30. Good thing we had two hours of play time go down the fun drain. When I was 12, I would have loved an indoor mini golf place that served lunch! And I lived for the arcade. It was located next to the Orange Julius and was where all the cool boys hung out. Instead, he watched YouTube while we had lunch and then I forced him to read his book for 30 minutes. What a rousing good time we had! And when it came to attending Christmas Con, I got a hem-haw reaction all week. "I want to go, but I don't want to go." "What is Christmas Con and is it going to be any fun?" I told him what my ex-boyfriend in high school told me when I asked if we were still going to prom together. The exes response was, "I thought about it, but I decided I would rather have fun." Way harsh, right? But that's how I felt about taking McKinley. I would rather have fun alone than listen to him complain all day about boredom! He went...

So what is the relationship to parenting and Hallmark Christmas movie? There was a movie released in 2021 called "Open by Christmas" and it starred Alison Sweeney. It's about a woman who finds a Christmas card that dates back to high school that she stuffed in a text book and never opened. She and her best friend go on a search to find the person who penned the note inside the card. But that's not the storyline that resonates with me. It was that of her best friend who's dealing with a teenage son that doesn't want to do any of the annual Christmas traditions they have done for the past 15 years. I dealt with that this past Christmas, but thought that it might be a one off. Fast forward to week two of summer break and the storyline still applies. You see, we have had traditions over the past 11 years where we did nothing but hang out together. Went to the zoo, the farmstead, Crown Center for a day of fun at the aquarium and their annual free exhibit. But this summer, it's all YouTube with the dreaded ear buds. The Xbox and PlayStation in the basement. Listening to his cultivated Spotify playlist, that I can totally get behind, but it's taken the place of family movie night. And if I'm being honest, it all completely sucks!

I'm finding that I'm swimming alone in a pool of nostalgia, but trying to grasp at cool straws to create new memories with things that I think will interest him. Activities that might be dope to a 12 year old. Does this generation even say dope? I know Bruh is sweeping the nation and they didn't even invent that term! I'm trying to give him space, while attempting to involve myself in things that I know I need to be apart of, so I don't use slang like "dope" or "awesomesauce". Is there a book to help with this transition? I didn't think so. It's an age old problem that parents have dealt with for centuries. Pre-Teen issues and all that applies. Hello? Can anyone hear me and relate?

But for some reason, Friday was different. Friday came with a morning of snuggles on the couch while watching our mutual favorite YouTuber. We went estate saling, sang songs off the radio with the windows rolled down, and ate lunch in the car of the parking lot of the convention center while waiting for it to get closer to time to head inside. We talked about random things. Nothing too heavy. Nothing too silly. We laughed because something was funny and it was joyful to have the time together. And when it came time to head into Christmas Con, things were good. And Christmas Con was wonderful. If you followed along over the weekend on the 'gram, you know the story. If you didn't, here's a brief overview. It started off slow. It wasn't exactly what we thought it would be. But we found out later that you didn't have to wait in line to have selfies with the Hallmark stars, you could actually just say hi. And that's exactly what we did. And it was dreamy. Our favorites interacted with us as if we truly mattered. Especially Jonathan Bennett. He spent uninterrupted time with McKinley, taking full interest in all the things they discussed, signed his stuffed gingerbread man, and took a selfie. McKinley was elated! I was overjoyed. The interaction was heartwarming and it meant so much to me that he would take the time. It's a moment that neither one of us will forget.

After we left Christmas Con, we chatted on the way home about actors and what it's like to be one. When we got home, he immediately started talking to his dad about everything that took place and the actors that we had a chance to talk to. He told him all about the conversation with Jonathon Bennett, and how when we finally got to chat with Ashley Williams, she made a point to thank us for waiting patiently and asked us what our favorite movies were. Of course McKinley said The Wedding Veil series, to which Ashley indicated she had never seen them, and McKinley told her all about them and why there were his favorites. Joel asked if there was anything taking place later and I told him about a tree lighting ceremony they had planned. Joel said I should go back. I told him that was okay, but he insisted, and McKinley decided he wanted to go back as well. So, we loaded back up and headed back for the lighting. We made it just in time for the fun event and then we decided to stand in line for one more actor, Autumn Reeser. Autumn co-stars in The Wedding Veil series and McKinley was beginning to get the hang of this chatting with Hallmark stars thing. As soon as we stepped up to her table, and after introducing ourselves, Autumn asked McKinley if he was going to be an actor. His eyes lit up and a huge smile crossed his face. He said yes, it was something he had thought about, and she told him she could feel his vibe after just one meeting. We talked with her for a bit, said our goodbyes, and decided to call it day on Christmas Con. He talked about Autumn Reeser all the way home, asked to have a couch bed night, and said we should watch her wedding veil movie. All of which we did. More snuggles ensued. It was the perfect ending to a perfect day. 

Like in "Open by Christmas" it isn't that McKinley doesn't want to spend time with me. I just need to find common interests, outside of YouTube and gaming, that can bond us. Like our Hallmark characters mentioned earlier, it turned out that their mother/son relationship wasn't in jeopardy, it just needed revising. They started new holiday traditions. She listened as he talked about his new interests without showing boredom. And even though it appeared that he was too busy to spend time with her, he was actually working with his step-father to decorate their newly purchased house for Christmas as a surprise to his mother. Their bond wasn't broken. And neither is mine and McKinley's. It's just evolving. 

Since Friday, I'm not going to lie, there are still trying pre-teen moments. Struggles on clothing and why he can't wear the hood to his hoodie in public. Because you can't! Pre-teens and personal hygiene. Why is this a fight? But yes, you need to brush your teeth twice a day, wear deodorant, and shower daily! Bonus if you let me spruce the hair before heading out. Those curls are wild and need restraining. But there are still hugs, kisses on the cheek, and random hand holding and I treasure it all. I'm preparing for the day when at least some of it will come to an end. It makes me teary eyed to think of. Losing the little boy but watching him turn into a man. It's what it's all about right? Raising them to independence? Watching them walk their own path in life? Hoping that you gave them tools needed to do so? And I'm pretty sure one of those tools is deodorant. Again, needed daily!

Who out there is currently raising a pre-teen boy? Are you finding any similarities to those listed above? Are you a fan of Hallmark Christmas movies and saw "Open by Christmas"? If you haven't seen it, make sure to tune in during Christmas in July as Hallmark re-airs these classics. It's definitely one to watch on repeat! I mean, they wrap it all up in a pretty little Christmas bow! And if you have any tips or tricks for a weepy pre-teen mom, send them my way!

XO,

Andrea

P.S. Make sure to tune into Hallmark Channel either during Christmas in July or in October for Countdown to Christmas. You might see two very familiar faces. Fingers crossed!