I Knew This Day Would Come....

Before we knew we were having a boy, I worried about dressing a boy. Boys clothes lacked a lot to be desired. Everything came with dogs and bears or cartoon characters and silly sayings. I wanted polo shirts and cute shorts. Jeans and button downs. Sweaters and cords. Basically, the same type of clothes grown men like my husband and dad wore. I mean, girls clothes came in darling tulle dresses, sequin heart tops, or ruffled skirts by the rackful. But when I finally found the right stores to shop in for McKinley, like Boden and Janie & Jack, he's been dressed in style since birth! 

I knew this day would come, I just wasn't sure when. The day that McKinley would announce that he wanted to pick out his own clothes. The horror! I've been dressing him single handedly since day one! And I think I've done a pretty decent job thus far! There have been days, weekends mostly, that he picks out something to wear, but it's generally for days he's playing outside, headed to Emerald City to play, climb, and jump, just not on a daily school day basis. And all I can say is, thank goodness his wardrobe is somewhat fool proof for this leap into styling himself. However, this is what happened when he picked out his look for last year's school carnival....

The day happened to be last Thursday when he woke up in a bad mood, was getting himself dressed, and was "forced" to wear a button down shirt. A button down shirt he picked out at H&M over the summer that is covered in tiny construction equipment. I styled it with jeans and a cute navy and yellow vest. And tennis shoes, of course. But the button down shirt was the issue and he stated that he was tired of dressing up everyday for school! I asked him what exactly about the outfit made it so dressy and exclaimed that it was the button down. So we made a compromise. Instead of the casual vest I had picked to go over the shirt, we settled on a red "sweatshirt" half zip pullover that gave the appearance of being "dressed down". In all honestly, the pullover was dressier than the vest, but I went with it. And I played along when he told me he was going to pick out his clothes going forward.

As we drove to school that day, I told him that it was fine that he picked out his clothes, but I needed to have a little say, like that it matched. "It has to match?", he basically yelled from the backseat, and I'm pretty sure you could hear my eyes roll as he said it. "Yes it has to match", I said. "This is a non-negotiable"! He huffed! I explained to him that he has a certain style, a style that everyone associates with him, and I'm not willing to really budge on that. School is a place, like church, that we must show respect, and he is going to dress respectfully. It's his job for now, and he is going to dress like he's going to work! I wasn't allowed to dress down for school. I always looked cute and put together. And maybe that's expected of girls, but I also feel it should be expected of boys. Women and men. I have a very strong opinion on how I think people should dress!! Very strong! 

I went on to say that if he wanted to pick out his clothes for school, this must be done every night before bed. We don't have the luxury of spending time putting his "look" together in the mornings. We barely have time for the things we have to do to get out the door. His response, "Well, I'm not going to pick them out everyday......" Did you hear my eyes roll again? So, Thursday evening, he started the process. "Mama, what jeans should I wear? Mama, where is my Mahomes jersey? Mama, what shirt should I wear under the jersey?" Good thing he's picking out his clothes! Satisfied with the contents, he went on to the rest of the evenings bedtime routine. Here is the final look! His outfit, his pose, his most prized position. 

Sunday night, not a word was said about putting his outfit together. Guess who did it? And, when he got dressed this morning, guess who put that look together? And not a word has been said by Mr. Fashionisto himself. He's gotten dressed, eaten his breakfast, and complained about other things like not getting to eat something unhealthy for healthy morning snack. I'm surprised my eyes are still in their socket! Here's Mr. Sunshine himself this morning! 

The new Mini Boden catalog came the other day and he picked out all the items he liked best. And can you believe they are all the same types of things that exist in his wardrobe today? Cute tees with embroidered animals doing hilarious things, sweatshirts with sharks swimming in pools and half sized lobsters, sweaters with cute strips, and so on. All of the things that make him look too dressy on a daily basis. You see, the thing is, I allow him to pick out his clothes. He picks them out of the Boden catalog, off the Carter's website, from the H&M kids section in the store. It's that I layer them with button downs to keep him warm in the winter, long sleeved tees under short sleeves for the same reason, or turtlenecks under sweaters and sweatshirts for layering when he removes one during the day. He just sees them as dressy. I see them as completing a super cute look! A look that is definitely one of a kind.

I know that one day, all of this will come to an end. I know that cute Boden appliqued shirts will be replaced with something else. I'm hopeful, it's still polo style shirts, button downs with v-neck sweaters, and khaki shorts in the summer. And yes, things will still need to match. I just hope my eyes are still in their sockets!

McKinley's wardrobe in review. Stylish young man. 

At what age did your child(ren) start picking out their own daily clothes? From most of my girl mom friends, I've been told since about Kindergarten. Not sure about boy moms. But this boy mom is hopeful it will last a while!

XO,

Andrea

Dressing McKinley - School Styling Series

Several weeks ago I blogged about going back to school shopping for McKinley. I love dressing my baby boy in the cutest outfits possible and school is going to be the best way to get in all those pieces I may not dress him in for a weekend of play! It's been a little over a week since school started and I've been having fun picking out his looks the night before. And, he's had fun taking pictures after school. So much so, he now starts posing before I can get my camera ready. So here is a look back over the past week of looks McKinley has been sporting. 

I'm calling this series Dressing McKinley. I'm going to try and give styling updates often. It's so easy to go with super casual, but I like the challenge of creating cute looks that are a little on the dressy side. They don't hinder play, he's able to move during PE, and he looks super dapper! This is no different than dressing little girls in dresses every day. Why should little girls be held to a different standard of dress than boys? I don't think they should!

How do you dress your kiddos for school? Are you a super casual dresser or do you like to put your child in stylish pieces? What are your go-to brands?

Happy Friday!

XO,

Andrea

Raising a Well Rounded Kid

I just told my husband last night that this parenting thing is hard! I don't know if I'm doing it right half of the time and he said, "I'm know I'm not doing it right." So how do you know? I guess you have to wait until their adults, or teens, to know if it's really working. In between all the discipline, the playing, and the adventures, there's also the raising them to be well rounded. 

I'm an old school parent when it comes to activities. Find one or two that work and stick to them. You don't need five activities outside of school. If that were the case, I'm not sure a child would be any good at any of them. There would be no time to give each one the attention and discipline they need. But, how to you find the one or two they're actually good at? I'm also very picky about the activities he can participate in. I like the classic sports like baseball, basketball, golf, and tennis. Football is out of the question and neither my husband or I like soccer. So, the four listed above will be our test sports for now.

When McKinley turned one, he started swimming lessons. Swimming, in my opinion, is a life skill and a sport. There is always going to be some form of water around you and you HAVE to know how to swim. He's not always in love with swimming, but I keep telling him it's non-negotiable. He's not afraid of water, he just doesn't love putting that sweet face in the water. After witnessing Great Britain swimmer Adam Peaty break his own world record during the Rio Olympics, a gold medalist who was once afraid of the water, I'm even more convinced that McKinley will be a swimming master! I would personally love to raise a swim team athlete. Being a swimmer myself, a lifeguard who loves the water but never competed, I always feel at peace near water. I'm hoping the same will eventually ring true for my own child. Summer Olympics 2028, here we come!

Last summer McKinley was part of a Blast Ball team, one step below T-Ball, and played on his first T-Ball team this summer. He likes it, but I think he enjoys fielding (running after every ball in play) more than anything else. But, he's focused. He's always in his "ready position", as Joel calls it, when playing outfield and really thinks through the motions of stepping and throwing the ball to first base. Batting is a struggle from time to time, but we are working with a heavier aluminum bat and those little muscles are working as hard as they can. It frustrates him, but he doesn't give up. I've always said he have a hard worker on our hands and it shows in instances like this. Hard work pays off, right? Keep up the good work, bud! 

And then there's dancing. Our child loves to dance. He calls it "wild dancing" when have a dance party in the living room and he goes full out to the music. He requests "Cake by the Ocean", "Can't Stop the Feeling", "Satisfaction", and we provide 80s hits here and there. He tests out new moves, spins, falls to the floor, and simply enjoys moving. And because of that, I signed him up for Creative Movement at school last year. The teacher is a instructor at a local dance school, Miller Marley, and came to Brookridge Day School once a week to teach ballet, tap, and creative movement. And he liked it. So much so that he asked if he could continue to take dance. So this summer, in addition to T-Ball, he took Kindergarten Combo. It's a 45 minute class that consists of tap and ballet. He is one of two boys in a class of five and he likes it. And he's good at it. His teacher, Miss Missy, encouraged him all summer when he struggled with steps. Constantly re-iterated to him he was a good dancer and to not give up. And as a result, McKinley has decided he would like to continue taking class, so we've signed him for the fall. Am I worried? A little. At five, it's not much of an issue with friends. But when he's 12, and if he's still taking, it could be a teasing issue. A bridge I'm willing to help him cross if he's following his heart and passion. Like any "sporting" athlete, dance is a sport. And again, as a dancer myself, I've defended this unsupported theory for years. And if you don't believe me, google male dancers and look at their physique. Not a sport.....
 

Between swimming and dance, it sounds like I'm asking my child to follow in my own footsteps. And that's simply not the case. Again, swimming is life skill, and he doesn't have to become a lifeguard to fulfill his swimming grade card. He just has to learn to swim. As for dancing, it can only help with his athletics later on. Think about the NFL players who have taken a ballet class to help with coordination and flexibility. It only strengthens his abilities. Again, I've asked him if he wants to dance. I didn't sign him up without his consent. And when he's had enough, I'll be okay with that. But, he will have to have something team oriented in his life. I truly feel every child should be a part of a team environment. It teaches accountability, something I think a lot of kids these days don't have enough of, but that's a different post for a different time.

Come winter, I'm thinking of signing McKinley up for basketball, another sport he's expressed interest in. He plays "hoops" with Joel in my parents basement, on a plastic goal he got for Christmas several years ago, and makes baskets most of the time. Joel is going to chat with our neighbor, who has an adjustable goal in her driveway, to see if we can use hers for early practice. Based on that, we will determine if we pursue the basketball camp. After that, the skies the limit for this dude. Tennis camp, golf lessons, and swimming are on the docket for summer. And of course T-Ball. A well rounded kid can do it all, right?

What activities do you have planned for your kiddos? Do you have aspirations of glory or just to have some follow through? How much is too much in your opinion? Is there ever too much? I realize that McKinley is only five and there's so many other things he could be interested in or able to excel at, and I'm ready to help him pursue those dreams and goals. But he has to learn to swim. Life skill, my friend, life skill!

XO,
Andrea

Give Me Five Minutes.....

I feel like I utter these four words a thousand times a day. What is it about children and the need to be needed the minute you start doing something. My child, god love him, is one of those kids. He can be playing independently, and the phone rings which I answer, and then he's pulling at my shirt tail asking questions and wanting to show me something. Just last night, we finished up dinner, I called my mom, attempted to put laundry away, and he's playing hide and go seek behind my closet door and snickering while repeating "Mama" over and over and over. I leave the room, and he's following me down the stairs. I look at him, get down on his level and say "McKinley, give me five minutes." He doesn't.

Then, to make matters worse, I'm on the phone last night listening in on a team conference call. I realize I don't "work" in a conventional work environment. In fact, I work from home, so I'm not exactly invisible like my husband when he leaves for work every morning. So when I'm sitting at my desk, in my "office", it looks like I'm just hanging out in another room at home. Joel had taken McKinley on a tractor ride around the block, they then went outside to put our tags on the car, and when they come inside, Joel says "Don't bother Mama, she's on a call." Joel no sooner leaves the room and McKinley starts bouncing around my desk, sliding on the carpet like he's sliding into home plate, and flying an airplane around the room and making the sounds to go with it. With this being the handful of times I've asked to "give me five minutes", I completely lose my cool. I slam my hand down on the desk, repeat that I'm on the phone (under my breath in fear I'm not actually on mute), and then leave the room, stomping up the stairs like a 14 year old teenager. Was it effective? I think so. He was silent for the rest of the call.

So why is it, at times, we have to raise our voice or lose our cool, to get our point across to our children? Why is it that they have to be your shadow the minute you start to do something that doesn't involve them? I honestly don't have the answers to those questions, but I can try to figure out ways to get my child to give me those precious five minutes. And why do we need those five minutes? Do all moms need them or is it just me? 

When we decide to become a "stay at home mom", are we expected to never find ourselves faced with a bad day at the end of the day? Because we signed up for this job, it comes with the territory, and we need to embrace the good and the bad? Am I bad mama because I don't embrace the good and the bad day in and day out? When I see my parents physically sigh when I scold McKinley, or roll their eyes when I snap at him too quickly, I immediately feel guilty that I shouldn't be parenting this way. How would they have done things differently? Was their parenting style so much better than mine? What would you as a parent do differently? (Again, no judgment, just banter.)

Have I mentioned that McKinley, like myself, is an only child? I try not to be his only entertainment, and I encourage independent play daily, but at the same time it's hard to entertain yourself all day everyday. I know this first hand. I was raised by a mom who didn't play. She was hands on, but didn't physically get down and play daily. She too encouraged independent play, and I did, but at McKinley's age I was also in full-time daycare. Unlike me, he doesn't have that extra child(ren) to keep him distracted. So when the phone rings and I answer, there isn't that playmate to distract him. To him, my being on the phone is time taken away from him, which I guess can be an only child mentality. That we have to be the focus at all times. Maybe it's just a child's way of testing their boundaries? Are we really going to discipline while on the phone or after the call has ended? Am I going to enforce that "give me five minutes" long after my work is complete? Believe me, I do! However, it doesn't seem to sink in, even after the disciplinary actions are over. Maybe only time will tell.

In the case of last night, I finished my call, sternly explained to McKinley exactly why I was so upset, and then told him that I love him to the moon and back. We hugged and kissed it out, but dada took him to bed so that I could continue my five minutes. I painted my nails, drank some wine, watched The Men Tell All, and blogged about my feelings. And tomorrow, I'm sure I will ask for those five minutes at least five more times, and that's okay. Because I do need those five minutes and so does he!

XO,

Andrea