Something Other Than Who You Are

Monday, September 25, 2017

Let me see a show of hands. How many of you want to be something other than what you already are? Are you raising your hand? I'm raising mine high! But I haven't a clue what it is that I want to be. Well, actually that's a lie. I want to be a lot of things, and maybe that's my problem. I'm not focused, goaled, or motivated. Or, maybe I am all of those things and just too confused on what to actually do.

Last night I couldn't sleep. And when I say I couldn't sleep, I woke up at 1:30, found myself tossing for about 15 minutes, and decided to get up so I didn't wake up my husband. I poured myself a glass of apple juice and made my way down to the couch for a little DVR time. Last night was the 10th anniversary of the airing of Keeping Up with the Kardashians, so I settled in for a some fun and tons of laughs. This is my Housewives guilty pleasure and I'm not at all shy about sharing my love for the show. And I don't care who mocks me. We all have those shows that we watch and you know which one is yours.

But whenever I watch the show, I always wonder what it would be like to go from being nobody to somebody. Sure, their dad was Robert Kardashian, but they weren't really known as a family. Sure they had money, but not like the money they have today. They simply had a crazy family and someone told them they should take it live. And they did. And they built an empire from it. My dad always says they are famous for being famous, and that's not a lie, but they have done more with their lives than just the show. And to be honest, they are just so much fun to watch! Some episodes I find myself laughing out loud, alone, and it's all the therapy I need.

So, how do I wish I was something different than what I currently am? Well, I guess I wish I was doing something different with my life. Or, that I was in a different phase of my life. It's not that I don't want to be a wife and a mother. I want to be those things and so much more! Do I want to be famous, no? Would I like the bank account, yes! I've always said that I would like to be famous enough that I reap the financial benefits, but not famous enough that I'm recognized when I'm out in public. Best of both worlds, right? But I don't feel like I have the talents to really make it in any of the areas of life I want to pursue. 

For instance, I would love to be a part of the family of Hallmark Channel's Home and Family, but have you seen how talented those people are? I could never live up. Their DIY experts are just that, experts! And so creative. When you think you are super creative, watch them. You find out quickly that you aren't! Orly Shani is my spirit animal when it comes to all things fashion and she can turn anything into something else. I'm constantly trying to recreate some of the pieces she makes! Ken Wingard has some amazing things he's created. I love his ability to take a wooden palette from a grocery store and turn it into a Christmas tree for your front porch! Again, things I would never think to make. They put me to shame. 

I wish I was successful store front owner. I would love to own my own shop of any kind! Yes, my mom and I have our little booth down in Louisburg, but I would love to have a freestanding business. Ever since You've Got Mail, I've wanted a children's bookstore. I know what I would name it, what books (old and new) we would have in stock, what cute kid friendly activities we would offer, and other sweet ideas. It would be a dream. But on the flip side, I would love to have a boutique. But not just any boutique. I can't share all of my ideas on that one because someone would definitely steal it. I have big dreams for that one! I also think it would be so cool to have an antique/general store. A place where you find incredibly cool furniture and the household goods to go along with it. And to take that one step further, I want to be a home stager. My mom and I had a couple of jobs last year and they were a success. We worked with a realtor friend, who had complete faith in our venture, and he sold those properties quickly! We like to think it was our vision and maybe it was. But we ran out of storage for all of our homewares, so we had to "close up shop". Doesn't mean we won't open it again someday! My dreams are big......and super expensive.

Oh, and here's another one. I want to be an author! I want to write a children's book, a cocktail book, a teenmance book, and a book about everything I've learned about life up until now. I feel like I have some knowledge I need to pass on! What kinds of things, you ask? Well, how to not get caught by an RA when you're in the boys dorm past curfew. How to quickly use the restroom at crowded events when there are thousands of women standing in line for a stall. How to pour a foam-less head of beer and how to get rid of said foam when not poured correctly. Very knowledgeable things! However, I'm not really a writer. But do I have to be? My dad certainly didn't I think I was in high school and college, but I've archived all the lessons he's taught me over the years, and I've tried to apply them to the blog. Is it working? 

I wish I was smart enough to make these things happen. Smart in that I had the business sense to put the plans in motion. To create a plan of action and have someone say "Yes, this is a wonderful business idea. Yes, I think it would sell. Yes, we want to be a part of it." I wish I was organized enough to make it all happen. Again, I was putting a plan of action together in my restlessness last night and I think that I need to be way more detailed in my every day life. I need to write something down for every single day of the week in my calendar and follow it to the letter! And I need to focus on each one individually, and equally, in order to make it happen! Or, I need to narrow my focus and just pick one or two. Okay, we know that's never going to happen! So, I just need to focus on each one equally in order to make it happen. And, put it out in the universe.

So what can I do right now in order to make myself feel like I'm a success at one of these enormous life goals? Well, I chatted with my mom just this morning, and I'm going to put my home staging business to the test inside my very own. I'm getting creative with the space I have and I'm going to readjust my original home vision into the modern day vision I have created in my mind. I'm going to focus on my cocktail book by continuing to create my masterpiece drinks and then watch it all unfold as I create the space I want for a lovely coffee table book. And, I'm going to find a way to be as creative in my own crafts as the experts on Home and Family are with theirs. I can do this! I am creative. I mean, look at all the lists I've created....see what I did order to become the person I think that I am. Or the person I can become.

What are you going to do?


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