At Six Years Old

Monday, September 18, 2017

Has anyone experienced a six year old recently? If you haven't, I'm hear to talk about it. We are currently dealing with age six and its the hardest age to date! It's seriously no joke. I want to start off with the positives. He is hilarious! The things he says keeps us in stitches, when we aren't crying from frustration. Listening to him try and tell Knock Knock jokes is painful at times, but when he does get a good one, they're pretty funny. His latest, "Interrupting Car", is a good one! His so sweet. He still snuggles and hugs and kisses us goodbye and goodnight. When I hear is sweet little voice on the phone, it melts my heart. And his two missing front teeth smile is the cutest thing I've seen in ages. He truly is my heart.

And then he flips to the dark side. He should go as either Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde or Darth Vadar for Halloween. The mood swings are ridiculous! He can wake up crabby, and then by time I drop him off at school, he seems fine. Case in point. He woke up today, a rough one after bad dreams disturbed his sleep, and spent a groggy morning on the couch waiting on his breakfast. I allow him time to play in the mornings, while eating his breakfast, to help ease him into the school day. His biggest complaint these days is that he doesn't get enough time to play, so I'm flexible. And negotiable. As long as he eats, he can play. No harm, no foul. Today, he just wanted to sit on the couch and watch Little Einsteins. Again, no problem. He eats breakfast, gets a little classical music education, and all is right in the world. 

As we headed to school this morning, I broached the topic of writing a book together. I provided the subject matter, one he's passionate about, talked up the fact that he could write the story (me being his co-writer when the words got too hard to spell), and then he could also illustrate it. It would be a project for the two of us, and once it was complete, he could share it with Mrs. Warren, he current first grade teacher. He asked if we could make two copies and I said of course. He seemed excited. Or as excited as a six year old can be. Then I realized I missed our turn. I've been playing with new routes to school to allow for a more mainstreamed drop off and pick up situation, and when I announced it, he began to cry. He demanded that I turn around because he wanted to go the new way and was so distraught that I didn't. It's unnerving and I honestly don't know how to handle it.

The topic of school is another thing! He hates school and reminds us of that everyday. As I mentioned above, he complains all the time that there's no play time anymore. All they do is spend time learning. Recess, lunch, PE, and music seem to be the only things he looks forward to, and PE and music are only available every other day! I feel sorry for art and library. Hell, I feel sorry for me! I know that he's going through a lot of changes physically and emotionally. He's growing, he's adjusting to new routines and concepts, he's becoming aware of the fact that he can make his own decisions from time to time, and lashes out when our suggestions don't jive with his. He's argumentative, dramatic, emotional, and very stubborn. And based on this information I discovered today from Center for Parenting Education, he's apparently a very normal six year old.

At six years old for parents, it sucks! I want to cry more than I laugh. And sometimes I simply laugh through the tears. I constantly feel like I'm failing as a mother. I want to hug and kiss him death and then I want to send him to his room and not have him within my sight. I want to motivate him to want to learn, but then we sit down to work on after school activities, and I think "does he really need to learn how to read?" I'm trying to create a home of warmth, love, joy, and positivity, but some days I feel like my house is a haven of doom and gloom as my son walks around and growls like a bear or hisses like a cat when I ask him to do the simplest of tasks. "Please put your shoes where you found them." Growl. "Let's sit down and read this book together." Hiss. "Would you like to have a snack?" "Finnnnnnnnne, but I wasn't really expecting one." You can see where I find joy at being home. And that I just want to seek refuge in a vat of chocolate or in a glass of champagne after he's gone to bed. It's taking its toll and my heart is heavy.

If you read through the traits of a typical six year old, you will see that at 6 1/2 there are some changes to look forward to. Some of them being more warm and loving, more appreciative, loves mama again. That's a big one right now. Not loving his mama and it's breaking me. He appears to hate me. He told Joel just about a week ago that their outing together just got more fun because Mama wasn't going. Well, they ended up not going anywhere that day and several things were taken away for the weekend, simply based on his attitude. Did I tell you that six years old sucks? 

How many of you mama's out there are dealing with this? Have dealt with it in the past? What are you doing to get through it? On that Saturday where he said he would have more fun without me, I made sure to not be available that day. Whether I was inside the house or out. I spent most of the day alone and I took the time get my nails done. I never do that, but I felt like I needed a little Mama time, and a little pampering, and it was the best 20 minutes I have had in a while. When things get bad, I leave the room and gather my composer. I try not to fly off the handle, which still happens, but I try to breathe through it all and not let him get to me. And let me tell you, it's so much easier said than done! And I constantly have to remind myself that I can't possibly be alone. Please remind me that I'm not alone!


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